Saturday, 26 September 2009

The Final Destination

Dir: David R. Ellis
Starring: Bobby Campo & Shantel VanSanten

Yet Another 3-D Horror Film.....

The Final Destination is the fourth (and what I hope last) installment of the Final Destination franchise. As usual, one unsuspecting member of the public has a 'vision' and for sees the horror which will unfold momentarily.

Nick (Campo) sees a crash take place at a raceway track whilst he's in attendance. Just like the other 3 films he warns a number of people about what is going to happen but because he prevented their deaths, Death is on their backs.

Yes even the fourth movie in the franchise uses the same old recycled plot and story to attempt to scare viewers, but this one doesn't?

This is what I like to call the typical "Teen Horror" It has Gruesome deaths which people can cringe at and say "Ewww, That was disgusting!", It has a rock type soundtrack which pulls the viewer and and most of all it has boobs. Yep, all 15 year old boys can run down to the cinema, buy their tickets and get a glimpse of a girl's breasts just for good measure.

I enjoy a good horror film. But I enjoy a good horror film that will scare me out of my wits instead of just showing me a gazillion different ways of how to kill someone. I suppose as a big fan of the Saw franchise I'm sorta contradicting myself here but the first Saw film scared me and it was considered a Thriller, not a Horror!

The 3-D bothered me with this film. The only 3-D moments where when someone died and the odd occasion where something was thrown. I remember going to watch Spy Kids 3-D in the cinema, now that was a good film for 3-D!

3-D horror these days is just becoming a gimmick. I did enjoy My Bloody Valentine earlier this year but now I've seen enough of it. Although to the film's credit, they did find some inventive ways to kill someone in 3-D.

This is yet another film aimed at the population who are too young to go and see a full on 18 certified film but are too old to go and see something like Up with their friends. This explains why the films doing so well at the Box Office.

If you've seen the last 3 Final Destination movies then you've seen this one. The only difference is you'll be sat there wearing Austin Powers' glasses.


(All reviews can be given a maximum of 5 *'s and i will not give 1/2's and 1/4's. I will write reviews on films i have recently seen and will review other films upon request)

Friday, 18 September 2009


Dir: Neveldine/Taylor
Starring: Gerard Butler & Michael C. Hall

"Hey Kable, I'm Playing You"

Gamer is the first film, outside of Crank & Crank: High Voltage, from the collective minds of Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor. It stars 300 actor Gerard Butler as death row inmate Kable & Dexter Morgan himself Michael C. Hall as Uber Billionaire Ken Castle.

The premise of Gamer revolves around a game called Slayers. Slayers lets the player take control of a "icon" and play as them in a game to the death. The only problem is, these icon's are death row inmates, who if they can survive thirty rounds get set free.

Slayers is the brain child of Ken Castle, who designed Slayers after his last experiment Society proved to be a major hit. Kable is chosen to take part in Slayers and is on his 26Th consecutive win when we begin Gamer.

Kable looks like he's come to the realisation that he is in the game for the long run and only hopes to see his wife and daughter again one day. Simon is the kid who's playing Kable. He's soaking in all the glory of playing as the most successful Slayer in the world at the minute. He's every Game Boy's role model. However everything goes wrong when Kable goes rogue and leaves the confines of the game.

That's all I'll say on the plot because as usual I don't want to give away to much. Honestly, I enjoyed Gamer. There were a few moments where I thought meh. But it was a fun action packed thrill ride which makes for good viewing with a bunch of friends. I went to see it with my Girlfriend and 3 other male friends and all but one of us thoroughly enjoyed it.

The linear narrative is very easy to follow but the only thing that is a little confusing to look at is the slanted camera angles and strange camera shots in the beginning of the film. Gamer does have a lot of T&A in it which is good for the single guys out there but there is a lot of action sequences with provides a good alternative for the taken guy who "swears he wasn't looking" I also really enjoyed how the ended the film with a screen saying "Game Over" and "Insert Coin"

I thought Gerard Butler gave a strong performance as Kable but, not just because I'm a Dexter fan, I think Michael C. Hall gave the best performance in the film. He was very undermined in this film though as he doesn't receive as much screen time as I would have liked. Terry Crews has a good showing as one of the film's villains but I urge you not to have White Chicks or The Longest Yard in memory when you see this film, it'll dampen any chance Crews has of scaring you.

Look out for Michael C. Hall's dance number. This is why he should make more movies.

Overall Gamer gave me a fun time at the cinema. There's a scene where Kable meets the Anti Ken Castle group Humanz which reminded me a lot of Children Of Men which made me happy as it's is one of my favourite films.

I enjoyed Gamer more than Hancock & Jumper but not as much as 500 Days of Summer but i suppose that's because their from different genre's and what not. I have contemplated what star rating I am going to give Gamer, either a 3 * or a 4 *. I was advised to scrap my belief of not giving half stars and go with 3 1/2 *'s but i am not going to do this. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say:


P.S - This will be my last review until about mid next week unless things change. I'm moving to University and have packed over 100 DVD's all of which will be reviewed.

(All reviews can be given a maximum of 5 *'s and i will not give 1/2's and 1/4's. I will write reviews on films i have recently seen and will review other films upon request)

Tuesday, 15 September 2009


Dir. Doug Liman
Starring: Hayden Christensen, Rachel Bilson, Jamie Bell & Samuel L. Jackson

Jumper starts off with the back story of David who like anybody else is having troubles at home and at school. The back story is narrated by Hayden Christensen who plays David for the majority of the film. The back story fits in will with the film's narrative flow as it provides an insight into David's 'First Jump'

Soon enough we are thrown into the present day as Roland (Samuel L. Jackson, sporting a white haired look) introduces himself as an NSA agent looking into a bank robbery in which David was the culprit. As the film moves forward we learn that Roland is not an NSA agent but he is in fact a Paladin. A Paladin is someone who tracks down Jumpers in an attempt to kill them as they disagree with the way they live their lives.

Another Jumper is introduced in the form of Griffin (Jamie Bell). Griffin is a veteran at jumping and decides to let David know that he's not alone. Jamie Bell was the stand out actor for me in this film as Griffin. He's sharp and witty which is a big contrast to Christensen's David who is sometimes very emotionless.

Attempting to escape Roland, to begin with David returns to his hometown for the first time in 8 years. Despite this and the fact alot of people thought he was dead, he still decides to whisk his high school sweetheart Millie (Rachel Bilson) off to Rome.

After this Jumper throws so may things at you it's hard to keep up. You get to see David Mum Mary (Diane Lane) I honestly wondered where the hell she came from being as the story is 'She left when i was five' Not to worry though her presence is explained in 5 minutes at the end of the film.

Overall Jumper was an OK film, nothing more. There was plenty of fast paced action but the whole narrative seemed to be very compressed in order for it to fit a mere 84 minutes.


P.S - Look out for a pre Twilight Kristen Stewart.

(All reviews can be given a maximum of 5 *'s and i will not give 1/2's and 1/4's. I will write reviews on films i have recently seen and will review other films upon request)

Monday, 14 September 2009

Behind Enemy Lines: Colombia

Dir. Tim Matheson
Starring: Joe Manganiello & Mr. Kennedy

Give me a camera, a field, some actors and a few guns and I could make this movie.

Behind Enemy Lines: Colombia is the third Enemy Lines and WWE's fourth film as a major production company. Starring now ex WWE superstar Mr. Kennedy and One Tree Hill's Joe Manganiello, Behind Enemy Lines is a war movie about a conspiracy happening between the Colombian Army and the U.S Army.

From the outset I noticed that Behind Enemy Lines was 'different' to other films I have seen. They introduce the characters through a freeze frame and title cards. This didn't bother me as such until the film progressed some more and the characters barely ever communicated with each other using their names, why? I don't really know.

Some of the dialogue and plot lines had me scratching my head from the beginning. They were explaining who F.A.R.C where and said they are the 'Revolutionary Colombian Armed Forces' R.C.A.F? Also Kennedy's character has a crack at Manganiello by stated that he is 'too ancient to be leading us behind enemy lines' Manganiello is 32, while Kennedy (who is playing a younger character) is 33. Not a huge age difference but I personally think that both actors could have done with a role reversal to make it more believeable.

Behind Enemy Lines was a made for DVD movie and that's another thing that bothered me. You could tell where the budget was tight especially in terms of CGI. Moments like a Parachute Drop and News Reports could have been done better but clearly the budget was used on weapons and what not.

The camera work made me think I was watching Ultimate Force or something, It didn't feel like I was watching a feature film. Instead of moving the camera in order to make something fit the frame, make the frame bigger. It could have been done.

All in all the plot idea was very good, but not well executed. To it's credit the rescue mission is shot well and has a decent amount of action which gives the audience one of the only suspenseful moments during the 94 minute run time.

Did every American have to die in slow motion?


P.S - Whilst writing this review it became known that Patrick Swayze has passed away. My condolences go out to his family and friends. It seems as though a lot of well known faces have been lost this year. R.I.P

(All reviews can be given a maximum of 5 *'s and i will not give 1/2's and 1/4's. I will write reviews on films i have recently seen and will review other films upon request)

Friday, 11 September 2009

Sorority Row

Dir: Stewart Hendler
Starring: Rumer Willis, Briana Evigan & Leah Pipes

If you've seen one, you've seen them all?

Sorority Row tells the story of a group of Sorority Sisters at Theta Pi. A number of the girls decide to play a prank on a boy (Garett) who cheated on one of the sisters; Megan. They fake her death. Not knowing about the prank, Garett for no reason whatsoever decides to stab Megan in the chest with an axel from the car. With the prank gone horribly wrong the other sisters decide to dispose of Megan's body by throwing down a well. In typical teen horror style, 8 months later someone is out to kill the sisters and avenge Megan's death.

Sorority Row was an average movie, nothing totally bored me and nothing totally compelled me so really I had no room to complain. That was until the twist was revealed. Like a lot of films recently this twist is silly and doesn't really make sense. Without spoiling things; the twist involves more than one person and because they have limited screen time I honestly couldn't tell the difference between them.

The acting is nothing special but I suppose that's typical of your average date movie horror flick. Also, this is the only film i've known Rumer Willis to have a major role in.

Sorority Row does however use a lot of the generic camera shots, average acting and music scores that are now typical of a teen horror movie. This is merely an advantage when recognising the genre it belongs to. Without sounding harsh, if you've seen I Know What You Did Last Summer, You've seen Sorority Row.

Overall if your looking for a simple, traditional horror film to waste time with friends or to get your 'fix' see Sorority Row, if not go elsewhere.

Oh, will someone tell Rumer Willis to stop screaming please?


(All reviews can be given a maximum of 5 *'s and i will not give 1/2's and 1/4's. I will write reviews on films i have recently seen and will review other films upon request)


Dir: Peter Berg
Starring: Will Smith, Charlize Theron & Jason Bateman

Ah Hancock, how you misled me.

So I'm in Morrisons and I see Hancock for £3.99, Why not? It's a Superhero film, I like Superhero films, Why not? Oh how I was wrong.

OK, I'm not saying Hancock is a bad film, I'm saying it fell apart half way through, Which it seems a lot of films are doing these days. Basically Hancock is a anti-hero, He's a drunken bum who doesn't take much care in his work.

The opening scenes seem promising, He's a guy with a difference but yet you can relate to him. He's seen as an outcast in the town even when he saves Ray (Jason Bateman) from an oncoming train, Hancock then begins working with Ray on his "image" and "public interface" It's Ray's idea to have Hancock go to jail for the choas he causes in the city and wait it out until the city comes calling for him, and sure enough it does.

Now it falls apart.

Ray is married to Mary (Charlize Theron) who, from the moment you meet her, is hiding something and it's not very well hidden. As usual I won't spoil the film but there's a twist in there which honestly, makes you scratch your head every time it's developed on.

I wanted Hancock to be great and for the first half it was but it just fell apart from there. I didn't like the fact that they felt they had to explain how Hancock got his powers in such a confusing way. I would have been happy if it was only hinted on, not fully revealed.

Watching Hancock made me realise how much I like Jason Bateman as an actor. From his work on Juno to his small role in Dodgeball, he's really impressing me with his acting. Looking at Will Smiths IMDB page as I write this, I own a lot of his films and have seen a lot more too but this is the one which i had most trouble with.

I believe Smith as Del Spooner in I, Robot, as Robert Neville in I Am Legend and even as James West in Wild Wild West but there are times where I don't believe him as a drunk superhero, you'll have to watch to to see what I mean.

On a last note, I wanted to see Hancock because Johnny Galecki (Leonard from The Big Bang Theory) is in it, but it's only a bit part. Kinda like Keith Richards in Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End.

Overall, I enjoyed Hancock for the most part but thought it could have done alot better without the silly twist.


P.S - Will Smith has 25 films in development on IMDB, can you believe that?

(All reviews can be given a maximum of 5 *'s and i will not give 1/2's and 1/4's. I will write reviews on films i have recently seen and will review other films upon request)

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

District 9

Dir. Neill Blomkamp
Starring: Sharlto Copley & Jason Cope

First off i enjoyed District 9. Not as much as I thought I would but I enjoyed it none the less. The film, for me, was split into 3 parts; obviously the beginning, middle and end.

The opening scenes of D9 were probably the best way to introduce a film i've seen in a while. Set in a sort of Mockumentary way, D9 introduces you to Wikus Van De Merwe (Sharlto Copley) who is given the role of leader in the quest to evict all Aliens or "Prawns" out of District 9. The whole opening sequence is shot via handicam ala Cloverfield and provides a realistic and gritty tone to begin the film. Sharlto plays his character very well by trying to be very camera friendly and reacting to alot of situations to which the audience will think "What will I do in that situation?" Out of nowhere comes the traditional disruption to set the tone for the rest of the film.

The middle section is where D9 dragged off for me really. I enjoyed the plot lines and everything but the whole seemed to long winded and drawn out just to get to the near excellent finale. A whole bunch of characters are introduced to the film out of nowhere in order to make Wikus more down to earth and relatable to the audience.

The finale brought the whole film back to life for me in term of action and character emotion. This is where the audience finally get to relate to the prawns and can understand what is driving a certain prawn to remain in District 9. This finale contain everything from light hearted jokes, explosive action and a completely thought about ending.

I was reminded of a alot of things while i was watching District 9, like the opening scene in a sort of Slum setting reminded me of City of God and probably unintentionally Wikus' final battle attire reminded me of a Backstreet Boys video.

I enjoyed the first and final parts of District 9 but thought it would be a bit better than it was. In terms of Oscar buzz i would say that Sharlto Copley would be on the shortlist for a Best Actor nomination and the film itself has a good chance of gaining a Best Picture nomination now that the Academy have increased the nomination field from 5 to 10.


(All reviews can be given a maximum of 5 *'s and i will not give 1/2's and 1/4's. I will write reviews on films i have recently seen and will review other films upon request)

Monday, 7 September 2009

(500) Days Of Summer

Dir. Marc Webb
Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt & Zooey Deschanel

(500) Days of Summer is one of the best romantic comedies I have ever seen. It plays on traditional conventions and gives the audience another window into what relationships can be like.

The events take place in a not so conventional way as the film skips from day 6 to day 361 and back to day 4 but don't be to confused by the non linear narrative as it only adds to the films well delivered mystique. Gordon - Levitt plays Tom who like any man and some point in his life becomes infatuated with a girl who is seemingly untouchable. That girl is Summer (Zooey Deschanel). Summer is portrayed as a mystery to which Tom wants to know as he "loves" Summer.

The film follows Tom & Summer's relationship closely and makes sure that the audience understands every intricate detail of their quirky pairing. The acting in this film is well executed as every joke is delivered as it should to make the audience laugh.

(500) Days of Summer is thoroughly enjoyable as a couple film but I doubt it will have it's desired effect as a Saturday Night Lad's movie, I suggest waiting for Gamer if you fall into that category.

I enjoyed (500) Days from start to finish and urge you to go and see it. Look out for Tom's over the top celebration to Hall & Oates' "You Make My Dreams" and also download the soundtrack while your there.


(All reviews can be given a maximum of 5 *'s and i will not give 1/2's and 1/4's. I will write reviews on films i have recently seen and will review other films upon request)

Burn After Reading

Dir. Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Starring: Brad Pitt, George Clooney & Tilda Swinton

Burn After Reading starts with probably one of the best scenes in the film. John Malkovich is speaking with one of his peers and doesn't like the fact he is in a room with "Olsen" Trust me it's funny.

After this it's almost like two different stories intertwining, both with different goals. On one side you have Osbourne Cox (Malkovich), his "Cold Hearted Bitch" of a wife Katie Cox (Tilda Swinton) and George Clooney's strange but yet realistic Harry Pfarrer. All are official types who have access to lots of money and lots of government information which in turn gets into the hands of the other side of the story.

Linda Litzke (Frances McDormand) and Chad Feldheimer (Brad Pitt) are fitness trainers who are working at Hardbodies gym when they stumble across a disc containing lots of personal information about Osbourne Cox. Both decide to hatch a plan to blackmail Cox into getting money for this specific information.

Just writing this review makes me realise how hard it is to put this film into words because each detail links with a pivotal moment of the plot and I don't want to say to much and in turn spoil the film for anyone who hasn't seen it.

The comedy in this film is very dark and probably familiar to those who are fans of The Coen Brothers comedy films and any of their films for that matter. My only problem about this film would be that the ending is so abrupt that you don't exactly see it coming and I felt let down that there was no real closure to it.
I do recommend the film, but mainly to those who are familiar with the Coens work.


(All reviews can be given a maximum of 5 *'s and i will not give 1/2's and 1/4's. I will write reviews on films i have recently seen and will review other films upon request)

The Midnight Meat Train

Dir. Ryuhei Kitamura
Starring: Vinnie Jones, Bradley Cooper & Leslie Bibb.

So, where to start.....

To begin with Midnight Meat Train seems like a pretty straight forward horror film. The opening scene shows some sort of out of the blue death scene to get the audience thinking about what's going on and whats going to eventually happen. Thus enters Leon (Bradley Cooper). Leon is an unemployed photographer who is striving to take that "perfect picture"

Leon takes advice from Brooke Shields seemingly pointless character and begins to look for danger in his shots which leads him to follow a gang of thugs into a subway station to which he ends up saving a Chinese model (Erika) from being mugged by the gang. However, once Leon leaves Erika she boards a train and meets her untimely demise at the hands of Vinnie Jones' character simply known as "Mahogany"

Shortly after this Leon becomes infatuated in Mahogany and the subway station where Erika disappeared and begins to follow Mahogany as best as he can to learn the truth about what exactly happens on these very late night trains.

Midnight Meat Train comes across as a very plot driven horror film which takes care in giving depth to it's little cast and to also give the audience a good scare however for me this film got a little silly upon the reveal of a clearly not thought about "twist" ending. To it's credit I was thoroughly enjoying the film until this ending left me baffled and confused.

All in all Midnight Meat Train delivers in terms of character motivation, depth and recognition but as I've said the nonsical twist seems to spoil and make waste of what could have been a very good and thought out ending.


(All reviews can be given a maximum of 5 *'s and i will not give 1/2's and 1/4's. I will write reviews on films i have recently seen and will review other films upon request)

Just For Starters.....

Ok so, I'm gonna give this blogging business a shot.

I'm gonna use this space to write film reviews, WWE reviews and maybe some random thoughts if your lucky enough :D

If i can be bothered i may do small TV Show recaps, but we'll see how it goes.